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The Successful Lovrepreneur: How to Get in Business and Stay In Business

08 Aug

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Frankly, I’m sick of hearing about 50 Shades of GREY. I mean, I don’t even need to read the books to understand the storyline. Guys, if you want to know what all the buzz is about, just stop any random woman walking through NYC (or your nearest street corner) at given time and ask her about it. Not only will you be brought up to speed with speed, but after witnessing the facial expressions and body language of the women you ask as they explain, you’ll be so intrigued that you’ll rush the stores for a copy. Does 50 Shades of Grey really read like the Rosetta Stone of the pink velvet love canal? Are we as desperate to understand this phenomena as the fellas in Steve Harvey’s Think Like a Man movie were in a getting a copy of his book? We should be, right? Right? Apparently it does read as a playbook to break down Phil Jackson’s legendary triangle offense with some good ol’ one in box defense (versus box and one). I’m not so sure, I’ll leave that for you guys to chew on. What I do know it this: Christian Grey isn’t the only show in town! Actually, he can’t be. He’s not even real dammit! He’s a fictitious character, a dream, a well-packaged, delivered, and sold fantasy. Do you know what keeps this franchise in business? The way it erotic ways in which it plays on the imagination. Guys, I believe we all have a little Christian Grey in us, but we just haven’t challenged ourselves to channel it correctly. If and when we do, we will be able to package, deliver, and create our own fantasies for the women we adore, starring us as the one man show (unless you’re into the group thing. Hey to each is own, right?)!

I’m far from the Bruce Lee of Lovin’, in fact, I’m more like Bruce Leroy (a bootleg knockoff that is entertaining nonetheless), but I have a decent grip on business. Taking basic business principles and putting them into context, I’ve come up with a few short, but sweet tips to success.

Steps to Success:

1. Analyze: In life there is one universal truth – it takes having been a student once to become a master. If you want to Love your lady, Learn your lady. What are her likes, dislikes, strengths, and weaknesses? Do what she likes. Don’t do what she doesn’t. Always play to her strengths and show her how valuable she is and how confident you are in that truth. Play to her weaknesses as well – in both ways: 1. Protect her from that she fears and let her know that she’s supported by you. 2. If there are things in this world such as chocolate, certain colognes, or being touched or kissed in a special place that makes her melt, commit that to memory and practice!

2. Design: I’m far from a cheerleader, but B-E Creative B-E Creative! Take all of your research and put your mind to work. Women have keen senses and one of the strongest is the sense as to what actions come from the heart as well as which ones had serious thought behind them. Something as simple as a candle lit dinner at home where you took a stab at her favorite meal shows that you not only paid attention, but also care. It creates a certain energy, the type that transfers clear through dessert!

3. Implement: Enjoy the fruits of your labor by making her enjoy them too! Plan something and make it happen! Nothing better than when a plan comes together! Plan a special dinner, weekend getaway, long romantic stroll. Even random situations present opportunities to employ your creativity. If you are traveling and you know she likes dogs, pugs specifically, and you happen to spot a PUGLYFE painting by a street artist on the boardwalk in LA or wherever you are, the message is clear: No matter where I am or we are, you are always on my mind. If it’s sincere, she’ll know and she’ll appreciate it in many ways (some unimaginable or definitely not appropriate to post on this blog).

4. Adapt: When it’s a bore, it’s a Chore! (article coming soon) Seriously, it’s like cutting the grass. It might have been cool at one point (like say, when the ‘house’ was new and it was a pride of ownership display), but after a while, it gets boring, sloppy even. You’d flat-out rather someone else do it! For our purposes maybe the tail end of that statement should be to do it with someone else and that can be either you or her. Routine can be a healthy thing in many cases, but sex and relationships wouldn’t be such cases. Love is like Life itself – To stay alive, it needs to breathe. Always be that breath of fresh air. The process of learning, understanding, and interacting with your lady is an ongoing one and really a part of the process of growing together.

Sticking to these basic principles strengthens your business’ ability to withstand tough times. Be it recession, relocation, you name it. Your goal is simple: Gain your target customer and earn her lifetime loyalty and commitment.

Whether in the boardroom or in the bedroom, do your research, present confidently and with precision and handle – your – business! If not, the second your doors close, another Loverpreneur is always ready to step in and open up shop!

Meeting’s Adjourned,

M. Wellesley “50 Shades of” Gray

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Posted by on August 8, 2012 in Dating, Love and Relationships, Sex

 

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Sans Fidelis: Can Love Survive Infidelity?

30 Jul

Is love powerful enough to overcome infidelity?

When I first heard Tiger Woods crashed his Escalade into a hydrant at the end of his driveway, I knew it automatically; He Got Caught Out There! There was no way that Mr. Perfect himself made the stupid mistake of getting into an accident in his own driveway – unless he was running like the dickens from something! A shocked and angry wife swinging a golf club who no doubt was throwing a tantrum that would make Bruce Banner (The HULK) green with envy would definitely do the trick. Apparently they had a basic rule – If you show your 9 wood outside of the marriage, be prepared to catch a 9 iron upside your damn skull. Elin left and took a large part of Tiger’s money, endorsements, homes, and golf game with her.

Speaking of pompous pricks, Kobe Bryant literally traded fuzzy handcuffs for real steel ones when he was discovered as having cheated on his hometown High School Sweetheart Vanessa. For those who don’t recall, a rather disturbed young lady working at his hotel in Colorado accused him of raping her while he was supposed to be relaxing after knee surgery. He was later exonerated by DNA evidence confirming the presence of 2 “samples” (yuck, chick – really?) in addition to that of Bryant’s, but not before Kobe was forced to publicly acknowledge his misstep, purchase Vanessa a $4 million dollar purple diamond ring, and dedicate a half-sleeve tattoo to the honor of his wife and their two daughters. A blown knee brought about a blown load which almost resulted in a blown marriage and career. Against the advisement of whatever chickens happened to squawking on The View at the time, Vanessa stayed, but not before securing a better exit strategy in the event that the Kobester decided to cross over and dunk in another basket again sometime down the line.

How can we forget poor Robert Pattison. Aside from being the weird looking, abnormally pale, and considerably less attractive co-star in a movie series that him involved in a love triangle between Taylor Lautner‘s character and that of his real life girlfriend Kristen Stewart, the poor bastard’s girlfriend was also making private scenes of her own with one her directors, Rupert Sanders.  Aside from the shock and embarrassment of the betrayal itself, insult is added to injury thanks to the tabloid reports and subsequent public apology by Stewart. His next move – TBD. All I can think of is how interesting the next installment of Twilight is going to be. Might even skip the bootlegger this time and actually see this one in the theaters just to study the on-camera chemistry in Hi-Def.

3 similar stories, 3 different outcomes. It brings me to this question – Is love strong enough to overcome infidelity? 

Before I put you all to sleep with my thoughts and views on the subject, I’m interested to hear what you all out there have to say.

 

 

Semper Fi,

- TDC

P.S. Tomorrow makes 3 weeks for the Daily Crouton and a few hundred followers later across various platforms, I just want to thank you all who liked, followed, and subscribed! Keep the love coming! TDC Mobile app is on the way!

 

 

 
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Posted by on July 30, 2012 in Love and Relationships

 

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Sexting: Keep Your Head in the Game, Not in the Frame

26 Jul

Sexting: Keep your head in the game, not in the frame!

Progression in the area of the communication technology continues to amaze us all on a daily basis. Just in the last 10 years we’ve managed to go from analog cell phones to 2 way pagers, to phones that text message using T9, to smart devices with QWERTY pads and web browsing capability. With all the amazing things we’re now able to do with smart phones, some of us choose to do the dumbest things. We’ve gotten lazier over time! When is the last time you memorized a phone number? When is the last time someone described something that they were buying or trying to find while on the the phone with you as you were on the other end using their words to envision what they are talking about? Phones are good to us. Too good to us! In fact, they spoil us rotten and stupid!

Whether in a budding relationship or a long term commitment, we are always looking for ways to take our sexual relationships to the next level or keep them at a high level. With this goal in mind, we (in our sex crazed, yet tech savvy ingenuity) have now enlisted the help of our beloved smart devices in helping us succeed.

What ever happened to the midday phone calls at work with whispers of the explicit explicables as to what the night holds in store? How about the erotic love note scribed in lipstick and sealed with a kiss that you discovered in your wallet while reaching for a dollar for your morning paper and coffee (more like 3 bucks these days)? That kind of stuff really gets the imagination going, but noooooo! We live in the digital age of fast-paced movements, quick (and sometimes flat-out impulsive) decision making, and information exchange. We can’t seem to wait for sh*t, can we?

Nope! Instead, we keep things moving at a fast pace (including the imagination) and start sexting. The problem is; just like anywhere else in life, tomorrow isn’t promised today in relationships. What happens if things don’t get to that next level or stay at that high level? The pictures and videos you’ve now made to be shared as private, now are subject to be peered by peers unknown to you. Depending on the combination of how you split and the character of the person you split from, these images can make it anywhere from the eyes of the best friend to the eyes of the internet. While some states have laws in play for this type of violation, the best line of defense is to protect yourself first. Either don’t do it, or make sure along with showing things that your mother, employer, or pastor/rabbi/imam/buddhist priest/spiritual leader would be ashamed of, you don’t include your face smiling ear to ear like the Cheshire Cat himself!

So ladies before you show off your rear with your front facing camera and gentlemen before you so proudly display your 9.0 megadixel in HD, just remember that you never know! There are countless victims sexting gone bad. Don’t be a statistic!

 

Stay Focused,

- The Daily Crouton (Guilty as Charged)

 

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Posted by on July 26, 2012 in Dating, Sex

 

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Platonic Passion

24 Jul

What happens when “We’re Just Friends” is something you can no longer say with a straight face?

 

Ahh, the platonic relationship! A tale as old as time itself. Boy meets Girl. Girl isn’t that into Boy. Boy proposes friendship to Girl. Girl locks Boy in friend zone indefinitely. The End. Right?

Not so much. Many marriages today spawned from friendship first. More specifically, an almost forbidden love between two people who had previously sworn to platonicism (go with me here and thank you urbandictionary.com). Harrison polls say about 20% of marriages occur between couples who were strictly friends either in high school or college. That doesn’t even account for the friends acquired through other channels such as the girl/boy next door or friends made during early adulthood. My curiosity is the rate of failure. Once you’ve crossed the line, is there no going back? Does platonic go postal?

What are your thoughts or experiences on the subject?

Your Friend,

TDC

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Posted by on July 24, 2012 in Love and Relationships

 

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(in)Convenient Amnesia

23 Jul

The mortgage is due on the 1st. Turn off the lights when leaving the room to keep the electricity bill low (that’s due on the 15th). Take the A train 1 stop or the C for 2 stops from Port Authority to get to Lincoln Center. For a good time call 212-555-2469.

All of the nonsense we can pack into our brains that we can always remember, yet we still tend to forget how much we mean to each  other.

Life moves at a quick pace and moves us all as well. As life moves us, it also has the power to cause us to drift apart as it gets busier and busier. In the process, things that really should be less important begin to take priority over the things in life that really should be more. Relationships, in particular, are a perfect example. Teamwork makes the dream work, but instead of practicing on being a better team of 2, we end up honing our life skills as an army of 1.

As life begins to shift us in all possible directions, we lose the team concept of love and begin playing the game of life with our own individual gains and goals in mind.  Somehow, we hope that somewhere down the line, our paths cross again and  reach the next level together. The problem is with all the time that may have elapsed in waiting for that day, the love has deteriorated. The love has gone bad. The love has been lost!

Love is like a child. When it is first born, we are ecstatic. We handle it with care. We nurture and pamper it endlessly. Regardless of what’s going on in life, that child and its needs remain at the forefront of our minds. It starts off with baby steps, then before you know it is running, climbing, and bouncing uncontrollably. At some point, however, we descend from the clouds and reality sets in. Life as we know it has changed and that child is still at the forefront, but with all else incorporated. While the milestones are still important and celebrated as such, we may not pay as much attention as we did at birth. We begin missing a few small milestones where at first we didn’t miss a thing. We don’t panic the same way we once did the moment the child sniffles or coughs. By the time that child is teenager, we may have missed a dance recital or basketball game (or two), not known the right gift to buy for Christmas, and have been completely lost and ineffective in our efforts to communicate with him or her. We’ve lost touch (and it hurts).

It’s impossible to not lose a little ground while trying to keep up as life is constantly throwing friction in your path, but that doesn’t make it OK to lose focus on what matters the most.

Stay in Touch… Stay in Love,

- TheDailyCrouton

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Posted by on July 23, 2012 in Love and Relationships

 

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Break-up to Make-up: When to Call Time-Out

19 Jul

Sometimes the hardest thing to do and the right thing to do are one and the same.

It’s the bottom of the 9th, tie score bases loaded, 2 outs, 2 strikes and you’re playing the most important game of your career. The pressure is mounting from all directions and you’ve stepped up to the plate to bring it all home all home in style. Beads of sweat race down your forehead as the crowd holds their breath in anticipation of the next big play - the one that will ultimately make or break you!

You’ve been here before, but this time just feels different. Maybe you aren’t as sure, as confident. Maybe you are physically and mentally spent and don’t trust either what your brain or your heart is telling you (because more than likely and definitely just to screw with you, they’re at odds like the epic battle of mini devil over your left shoulder versus the angel over your right). Maybe the stakes are just so damn high and a small piece of you feels like the world is about to come crashing down like a house of cards at any moment! The frustration seems to be taking its toll and it’s no longer easy to hide. Just as you say “F’ it. Let’s get it over with, let’s do this.’”, a voice screams “Time-Out!”

The crowd boos in disappointment, but quickly resumes cheering and chanting in excitement and anticipation. After all, no matter the outcome they are rooting for, they came for entertainment. You nonchalantly wipe the sweat from your brow as inside you’re thinking, “Holy sh*t, that was close.”

This scenario happens between opponents in the sports world all the time. More frequently, this situation occurs between two parties that no cameras or crowds care to follow – the average couple.

The point of calling time-out in sports is the same as it is in the relationship; regroup, re-strategize, refocus, and basically pull the team together at the most critical point in the game. Time-outs are best used when we are most vulnerable to succumbing to pressure and allowing our emotions assist us in making poor decisions. That said, sometimes we need to call time-out as a means of saving the game – our relationships.

With all that can happen as people embark on the journey of growing together, sometimes life itself can shift our should-be congruent paths out of alignment slightly enough to shift us apart over time. Changes in status with school, work, preference or necessity in location, and even children can create pressure to a point where the love in the relationship seems to either be fading or completely lost. At what feels to be the closing stages of a steadily declining relationship, both parties are so mentally exhausted from the effects of constant pressure that they begin committing mental errors. These errors can ultimately cost them the relationship that they both are so heartbroken over, yet long to salvage somehow, some way. Their world has split in two, effectively becoming two islands as it continues crumbling around them. You’re beyond your boiling point and someone needs to remove the kettle from the fire and let it cool down a bit. It’s time to call time-out.

When a couple agrees to split, that time should be spent reassessing the relationship, revisiting areas where they personally felt that the relationship went wrong, finding opportunities for personal growth and improvement and creating a strategy that allows them reunify on a reconfigured (and hopefully stronger and straighter) path. There are many success stories of couples who made it to the brink and survived by coming to the realization that all they needed was each other.

Truth spoken, it doesn’t always work out that way. We don’t live in a cotton candy, rainbows, and sunshine fairytale reality. Cheesy feel-good music doesn’t play as the heroes, who were seemingly down and out, miraculously pull themselves together to save the world 5 minutes shy of the final credits rolling. Sometimes the hero dies. Sometimes Kobe misses the last shot. Sometimes that batter strikes out. Sometimes you simply find that you are better apart. The fact of the matter is that you miss 100% of the shots that you don’t take (Wayne Gretzky) and by taking a time-out, you take a break to allow yourself to recover enough physically and mentally to return to the game and give it your best shot before the time runs out.

The hardest thing to do and the right thing to do are often one and the same. Do the right thing!

Play Ball!

-TDC (that’s The Daily Crouton for you newbers)

P.S. – Sometimes those booing and chanting crowds are friends and family. Just like a sports pro, when it comes to your relationship, you just need to learn how to phase out the outside noise and distraction so you can focus on what you need to do!

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Posted by on July 19, 2012 in Love and Relationships

 

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Casual Sex: Part Deux – A Woman’s Response

18 Jul

A woman’s position on Casual Sex

The Daily Crouton is all about food for thought about dating and relationships. I write these posts to raise points or create debates on topics and I appreciate all who have followed on FaceBook, Twitter, and WordPress. I have been reading and replying to your comments and encourage you to keep them coming.

So a few days ago, I posted an article on Casual Sex basically recognizing it as a common and healthy thing when played correctly. In summary, I stated that casual sex is generally OK as long as it isn’t the sacrifice being made in hopes of wooing a someone into a relationship. A good friend of mine Valerie Shorter, LCSW, a family therapist wrote the following in response:

I read yesterday’s blog about sex and I had to comment from the ladies’ perspective.  Don’t get me wrong, I agree with much of what the author said – if I were an investment broker!  There are a few fundamental differences between men and women that need to be discussed.  First, let’s squash the myth that only men think about sex 1000+ times per day.  Guess what?!? Women do too!  The only difference is in the fantasy of how things play out in the bedroom….soft music (Donny Hathaway), candles burning, passionate kisses, a gentle caress of your hair, a whisper in your ear that he “wants” you, and maybe even a little rain on the window pane to completely set the mood…. You see, thoughts of sex for women are just not limited to the physical act, but also include the additional elements that are the most important to us.  Keep in mind that we have been taught from a very young age that we are to be treasured, romanced and sought after.  After all, men are hunters, right?  We dream about our first love by watching Ken and Barbie make out, we play wedding day with our friends, create all sorts of dating/fate related games and fantasize about being romanced long before we ever talk about it.  Outside of our desire for romance and intimacy, the fact remains that many women choose to have casual sex.  We have all been there at some point in time (or will be), and the guy who is lucky enough to be that “someone” often develops magical thinking in relation to his game, thinking that it must be something that he did to make this happen!  The reality is that when women are open to sexing as a hobby, it’s for a reason, and typically for specific chapters of her life.  Perhaps she is in between relationships, is wanting to explore her own sexuality and wants a little “practice” with a guy that she knows will not be her “one and only,” or maybe she’s just downright aching for some physical loving and turns to the most willing and available suitor.  In those cases, it’s game on, and typically things fall within her terms, because everyone knows that a woman gets what a woman wants; especially when she flips the script and she becomes the aggressor.  When a woman recognizes that she is actually the one who is in control, she becomes confident and learns to use her sexuality to her advantage.  Not all women give sex to get love, BUT they give sex as a form of “payment” for when the guy makes her feel noticed, cared for and special.  It’s like a daily behavioral rewards system, the more stars he earns for good behavior, the juicier the reward.  Sex is also used as a gauge to see how long he will stick around after he gets some (to determine how special you are to him), how frequently he will spend time with you – even if he can’t get some (to determine his level of commitment to you) and to see how willing he is to be patient and delay his sexual gratification (to determine his ability to control his sexual urges – we like to use this as our most trusted tool to see if you will cheat or not). Believe me, we are fully aware that men have to “put in work” to get the prize. We notice your glazed over eyes when it comes to listening to our workplace stories and our friendship drama, and we also notice when you act like you care about who the bachelorette is going to choose. We are ok with this because it validates that you care enough to at least act like you are interested, which is all we want right?  But understand that the acting is mutual, we pretend to like your music, follow your sports teams, tell you that we enjoy hanging out with your friends, say that we worship your body and forget to mention that your best friend is smoking hot….all for the sake of you reciprocating the same level attention and affection, to make us feel better about giving up the goods.  So it’s win-win right?  Women may appear to be on the losing end of the trade (as referred to in the previous blog), but it’s all a part of the lifelong craft that we have become so skilled in over the years – the art of seduction.  But who’s keeping score?
Valerie Shorter, LCSW
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Posted by on July 18, 2012 in Dating, Sex

 

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